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Indeed, most people I interviewed for the book, In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and its Victims, said that they can romantically love, and actually have loved, a few people at the same time.

After confirming to a woman that I was indeed seeing other women, I would then usually draw her into me, hug her, start kissing her neck and grabbing her butt at the same time (in other words, begin to lovingly devour her), firmly caressing her all over her body and then have sex with her.

Instead of me being pulled into drama and useless conversation about committing, I would use my masculinity to lead her and I out of that conversation and into a more enjoyable emotional state of being.

According to a study published in the Journal of Bisexuality, "[t]he Down Low is a lifestyle predominately practiced by young, urban Black men who have sex with other men and women, yet do not identify as gay or bisexual." In this context, "being on the Down Low" is more than just men having sex with men in secret, or a variant of closeted homosexuality or bisexuality — it is a sexual identity that is, at least partly, defined by its "cult of masculinity" and its rejection of what is perceived as white culture (including white LGBT culture) and terms.

Rejecting a gay culture they perceive as white and effeminate, many black men have settled on a new identity, with its own vocabulary and customs and its own name: Down Low.

I liked the simplicity of one." And Esther admits: "I subscribe to Romantic Ideology.

I want the Perfect Guy..one slightly imperfect guy. There isn't just one who has been able to satisfy me." Several songs describe this phenomenon; another example is the following: "I've got two lovers and I ain't ashamed, Two lovers, and I love them both the same" (Mary Wells).

There have always been men – black and white – who have had secret sexual lives with men.